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The awful truth

Tuesday April 19, 2005

I have had a few, quite lengthy, emails in the last few months asking me a question with a common theme, how did you get to where you are, and what advice can you give me on how to get there? Gulp!

Of course, it feels really nice that people actually think I am worthy of such questions but I have to be honest, I am not entirely comfortable with answering them. So let's have out with the awful truth:

How did you get to where you are?

This is really interesting because in reality no-one actually knows "where I am". It also gives rise to the more worrying notion that it is extraordinarily easy to blag your way in this old game of ours, with little or no evidence to support it. So, where am I? Well, right now I am bordering on being a successful business but an actual success story I am not. Since I started this hair brained scheme to become a "web designer" I have made some superbly laughable mistakes and I have been on the brink of financial ruin more times than I care to think about. It is only the fact that I work from home that allows me to carry on. Actually, it is only through an almost stupid determination to try and make this fucking thing work that I do carry on. Let me give you a little insight into where I am at, this time three weeks ago me and the Missus where literally counting out the change in order to buy some bread and milk whilst we waited for a cheque to clear, not quite the glitz and glamour you might expect ay?

What advice can you give on how to get there?

I haven't told you any of the above in order that you may feel sorry for me, that would be a mistake, there is a good chance that I will be loaded by the end of this year, finally; or maybe I won't, it all hangs in the balance at this stage, 2005 is my crunch time. The real reason I have told you the above is because I simply do not feel qualified to give people advice on how to plan their careers, I am not the man to ask, unless you want to do it the really hard way that is.

If you ask me is there anything I wish I had done differently, then yes, the three years I spent twiddling my fingers, teaching myself to design websites, with not a client in sight, I should probably have spent at school getting some qualifications and probably some business ones at that. If I can offer anyone a single piece of sane advice it is this, get some help with the business side of things if you plan to go it alone, it's a bloody minefield.

How the fuck did your blog get so busy then?

This is perhaps the most interesting question I never got asked and, I suspect, why people think I can offer sane advice. Right now I am going through a temporary surge in traffic thanks largely to Simon Collison's review on StyleGala, which seemed to start a bit of a snowball effect. I don't truly expect this to last, but on the whole I have been lucky in so much that I have had more traffic than I probably deserve in the last 6 months. There are a number of bloggers out there who should have the sort of visits I have experienced, simply because they are delivering much more valuable content.

How this has happened is kind of accidental networking. I live not too far down the road from Jon Hick's, we got chatting, he read my blog and linked me up the couple of times I actually made a half decent post about geeky things. Colly hooked me up on his blog from there and as a result, Malarkey came thither and added me to the Brit Pack list, hey presto, traffic. So it has been a kind of happy accident and really only through the welcoming nature of other British designers that it has happened at all.

I don't want to completely put myself down, I have an almost obsessive passion for what I do and I am, in my opinion anyway, completely employable (though not until the end of July I might add) but I am concerned that anyone emailing me with important questions about their career have perhaps caught the wrong end of the stick. If I am still around in five years, still doing this web design thing, then I will probably feel a little more qualified to answer these questions, but right now I am happy to be the twat who swears on his blog for no apparent reason, whose portfolio remains a complete mystery and who, quite clearly, is being put on a bit of pedestal he doesn't deserve to be on... Yeah I am comfy with that, though I am not sure if I want a classy Greek style pedestal or perhaps something a little more in keeping with the times?

Well there you go, possibly not the answer people would have been expecting but the best I can do at this stage.

Now then, where are the bloody keys to my Aston, bloody hell... Jeeves, where are you Jeeves? Come and wipe my arse for God's sake man and then tell the maid to clean up this mess!

  1. Kalle

    1227 days ago

    It’s good to see that a well-known blogger as yourself are just like us. Since I’m only 18 and trying to get to be a web designer in the future this blog helped me alot.
    Good luck

  2. Daniel

    1227 days ago

    I did wonder too, why I always once or twice (the truth is it is even more often) a day check your site just to see if there is something new! I like your site, will be the first answer, meaning your style and layout. The way it is, is more then the usual stuff you can find all around the web (even my site). The other point is, your way write things down. The way you point out a special problem is very entertaining and interesting. I don’t think you are a kind of holy gral but you are always good for a new idea and new point of view. That’s maybe the reason why you get all this questions from people you don’t know. ; )

  3. Andy Mac

    1227 days ago

    If I can add one thing, If you are planning to go it alone get the support of others, be it partners, friends, family etc… but get them on your side.

    There will always be times when you are all but ready to throw in the towel – having the support of those around you when the going gets tough can not be underestimated.

  4. G Bancroft

    1227 days ago

    Mind if I ask another 4 and a half ;

    How did you become a chef?

    How does one get into the Brit pack (membership fees etc)?

    I want to be a web designer also, with his in mind could you recommend another career for me?

    Do you have any jobs going?

    Great advice and the very best of luck for the year.

  5. G Bancroft

    1227 days ago

    I’m on my way Sir. Not sure about the arse wiping though, although I have been called one many a time.

  6. David Brent

    1227 days ago

    Don’t worry John, we have all had those bread and millk moments!

    I have a question: How long did it take you to grow your beard?

  7. Steven Marshall

    1227 days ago

    “either that or send me a cheque for £3,596.99 and I’ll see what I can do!”
    Would one of those not-a-real-cheque cheques you get from Reader’s Digest junk-mail do?

  8. Jon Hicks

    1227 days ago

    I have a question to – how to stop risotto sticking to the pan?

    BTW: I didn’t just link to the geeky posts! honest!

  9. Daniel

    1227 days ago

    The best risotto IS the one MADE by YOUR SELF! And believe me a decent pan is much too over rated! The secret is a moderate heat (no cooking) simmering and stirring all the time for the 30 minutes it will take till the best risotto in the world is ready to serve!

  10. Kev

    1227 days ago

    Kudos John :o)

    As ever, the best thing about your blog is the honesty and lack of bullshit.

  11. Benjamin Jackson

    1227 days ago

    I want to see your beard! I did the “Hagrid” search on Google, so I feel I have an idea but still – let’s get a pic!

    I appreciate your honesty, it’s amazing how a really well designed site and lots of people reading your thoughts can actually give the impression of a millionaire WebGuru in his fat leather chair (not to mention an arse wiping butler!).
    The web brings a new level of equality.

    Oh, and I love your blog cos you’re British and you think British!

  12. Yannick L.

    1227 days ago

    We all gotta start somewhere, but as the years go on and if we keep at it, things will get better. I’m sure you will reach the heights you want to and beyond John. I am still yet to start…

  13. jordan

    1227 days ago

    @Mr Benjamin: You can find a photo here

  14. dotjay

    1227 days ago

    Seven and a half questions for John Oxton. :)

    Question 7 and a half:
    If you had no choice but to…

  15. mat

    1227 days ago

    Wow. And all this time I thought you were living it large with dancing girls.

  16. Chris McElligott

    1226 days ago

    John Oxton – who is he? I though this was Jack Blacks web site…

  17. Ben Ward

    1226 days ago

    Thanks for posting this John, it’s much appreciated. The thing I love about blogs (or rather, the people who blog) is the openness and the way in which is joins up people and websites in ways that you’d previously only get in tight-knit web forums.

    Willingness to make posts like this is what’s shaping the Internet into the perfect virtual local pub (or coffee house, if you’re reading this before midday).

    Thanks for sharing.

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